It has come to my attention that today’s culture, particularly American culture, has developed an unhealthy obsession with haters. What I mean is, when people constantly talk about their haters to others, address their haters on Facebook and Twitter, and pretty much believe they are surrounded by a host of haters.

The term, hater, usually refers to someone who is jealous, someone who isn’t happy for another person’s success, or someone who points out others’ flaws. I’m not exactly sure when or how this obsession with haters started, but I can probably assume that the entertainment industry has played a part in magnifying the focus on haters.

You may be familiar with a few popular music hits where the artist addresses haters in their lyrics. You may have also watched reality shows where cast members will boast about haters or claim that someone is “hating” on them. This obsession with haters has led to the creation of what I call, “hater phrases.” Here are some phrases that you’ve probably seen or heard:

• Haters are my motivators.
• Haters gonna hate.
• Haters make me famous.
• I love haters.
• Be happy in front of your haters, it kills them.
• I laugh at all my haters.
• Haters are just confused admirers.

You may have noticed that when a person mentions haters, it’s usually voiced in a way to make it appear that they are not phased, or  that they are “unbothered” by haters. However, I believe that when a person constantly talks about haters, it’s usually because it actually DOES bother them. More than likely, they are either hurt or upset by others who don’t praise them, support them, or seem happy for them.

I believe the main cause of this obsession with haters is that we mistakenly seek validation from people. Too often, we tend to define our lives by what others think of us. We greatly desire approval, but living for the approval of others is never good, and will often times result in hurt, disappointment, and bitterness.

There is something I want you to think about. How often do you see a really successful person talk about their haters? With the success that Oprah has gained in her life, she has for sure had her fair share of people who criticize and dislike her. But you’ve never seen Oprah constantly talk about somebody “hating” on her. My guess would be that she is too busy and too focused to be concerned with such matters. When you are sure of yourself and focused on accomplishing your goals, you have no time, nor desire, to bring light to “all your haters” on social media.

Yes, you will have enemies. There will also be people who won’t be happy for you or want the best for you. I’m not denying that these things happen. It’s a part of life. I just want you to know, what other people think of you does not concern you. I also want you to know that some people that you may feel are haters are not haters at all. They are simply not interested in what you are doing. Don’t take it personal. You have to feel good about yourself.

Never allow what someone does or doesn’t do, cause you to go into a full out “hater rant.” Rather, use your energy to become the best person you can be. Seek affirmation from God alone.

I challenge you to no longer publicly voice your disdain or “admiration” for your “perceived haters.” If you truly believe that you have enemies, keep it to yourself and pray for those people. Stay focused on the dreams and goals for your life. Let’s bury the obsession with haters and start living our lives with passion and purpose!